i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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