Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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