so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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