then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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