I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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