Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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