i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
