My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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