singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
