i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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