who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
