I will die if light touches me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
