This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
