girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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