i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
