so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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