Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
