Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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