There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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