I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
