Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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