He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
