Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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