you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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