this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
