I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
so much tequila, so little girl.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
