let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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