We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My pussy is not your playground.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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