The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
