Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
