and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
