I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
