aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
