dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
