it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
