I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just blew my weed a kiss
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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