If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
