i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
