my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
