Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
two words: eviction party
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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