LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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