i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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