It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
