yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
