i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
