Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
