so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i out mim tonsoeep
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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