I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
