my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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