Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
