And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
