I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
