no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize