We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
