5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
