it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize