Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
