That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
