i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
